A few days ago i took one of my daughters to finish a physical she needed for athletics. Never easy, we have some heart issue's in the family so after several visits to a cardiologist she passed with flying colors. We had been so agitated i had not stopped to think; well of course this should be done. I mean my kids have always been healthy. zero broken bones, surgeries etc.. Very blessed in deed. So as we drove our last time it hit me stop being silly and spend the money. Better safe than sorry, this is my baby i am talking about. The very one that drives me the most nuts of course.
Unless your a mother and or a father that was very involved in your child from conception, what you wait for first is the heart beat. I was told children may not be possible. Then with my first i was told not to tell anyone that i may very well lose it. My second i actually did. Prayerfully my third and fourth i did not. With each i just waited to hear that jelly put on my tummy and see that little flitter on the screen and then BAM the sound. The sound that makes everything perfect in your world. The heartbeat. Some mothers as i did with mine while in labor have a strap wrapped around the belly to monitor the baby and the heart beats. Occasionally the nurse will let you hear that sound to ensure you either A. dont kill someone due to pain or B. to calm the mom. The heartbeat of our babies is what keeps us going.
So back on topic. My daughter had a rigamaroll (is that how you spell that) of tests ending in an ultrasound. I was in there (yes because i am controlling) and because she had to wear a smock and wanted me there. Rare at this age so i jumped on it.
Then it happened. BAM........ i heard her heart beat again. It hit me like a ton of bricks. I didnt know whether to cry to call her brother who would of course want proof she has a heart.( though i suspect he thought so all along) I watched the monitor and the tech was overly kind. Rare these days if you ask me. He explained what i was looking at. What the colors were and how healthy my angel actually is. I listened to him, but i have to be honest with you........all i kept listening to was her heart beat......over and over. It reminded me yet again.......its what keeps me going. Puts my feet on the floor, some days keeps me from eating my young but in the end.......that sound never fades.
Today i dropped said child off after a round of lets play whos the boss and push our limits....i was brought back to that feeling on the way home. That sound. There is NOTHING like it. They grow and push those limits and we just although we dont want to admit it; want just a few more moments. We want to hold them, tell them one more thing, give them that one more gift of knowledge.
If you have seen the movie with Kevin Bacon, i thinks titled She's having a baby.... or the song Apron Strings it might help. If not look it up. Its amazing and has many meanings for me. (not just my babies, but someone elses) As much as my kids dad and i disagree i think of him when i see this seen. He came very close to raising our son alone. That heartbeat....... Ill try and attach the song.
http://youtu.be/TyeZy_UPYKM
To those that wonder... of course i cried. I also have a heart and one feeling. i only show it occasionally. do not tell.
