Corporate America is not me =acceptance

So, I gave my notice yesterday at my job I have come to almost accept as a second home I was there so much. Lol. This was my second job after trying to stay home and "retire".  I had been caring for my step mom and taking care of my family.  Turned out, i was bored.  I forgot to get hobbies.  I always loved my career as a hair dresser and when i wasn't doing hair, i was mom.  So back to work i went.  First part time job was a flop.  HA!  I would go into it, but after pooring my heart into a job, even a fund raiser for a women i barely knew..........ok, lets just not.   So...........back to i gave notice yesterday and......... Two women made me feel...good. I don't believe in coincidence as you know. These ladies reminded me why. Then promptly afterwards a customer talked to me harshly because he could not locate the men's room. "We do not have it marked properly", haha. I remembered why corporate America though good for some is not for this witch. I'm moving on. .back to small business, not my own thank goodness. Brian's keeps us hopping enough. But, to a small business I feel a good fit with, that has growth and personal touch (my specialty). ... and broom parking. Bonus👍 Thank you to my family for the loving support in this decision💋

So, after a long day off i came home to our Santa Clause Brian worked so hard on obviously falling off the wagaon.  He is in the right home, no question there.  Now, I'm cooking, getting lights ready for our tree, taking Christmas photo's of the dog's and cat's (yes I am) and waiting for my insane, crazy, drive me to drink, NMW family to get home. That's IF everyone read the text because no one answers the phone. Lmbo. Love them all big!

 Bad Santa, Bad.  hahaha.  Sorry a momma has to get a giggle when a momma can.  You know its true.

Christmas cards

For the first time in years, I am sending out Christmas cards.  Ok, no I am not sending an updated letter telling everyone what's changed and how grateful I am.   Isn't that why we social media now?  According to some of my relatives,  I'm to open any way. God knows I over post picture's.   I Don't care.
Any way,  I thought this year I'm doing it.   Brian was brilliant in the decision of the card and here I sit.  Dinner cooking and yes, wine in glass.
With that being said. Back I go.   I will finish almost scared after 25 year's that I may not only be healthiest this year after many.   I may be dare I say it..happy.

Flawsome!

P.s. If you do get a card from us.  Don't judge the pinot Smell.  It is a good year.  *smile and Cheers

Take a load off - Thanks Momma aka Ma!

Music and cleaning mode* .  From my youngest childhood memory, my Momma couldnt even vacuum without music.  She would dance with the mop.  My daddy gave me books, sci fi, an education, broadway, a moral compass etc etc, my second mom gave me a purpose, a center, unconditional etc etc, my Momma - she gave me art, the love of all things wine, laughter, more books, my eyes, manners, Channel #5, MUSIC, etc etc.  They all gave and gave.  I have to be honest, i really love music.  Thanks MA!



https://youtu.be/9P202C3mm8g

My word

While once again having my 14 year old feelings hurt.  At. .46, my claws came out and I do what I do.  Shut down.
I was thinking of a book I read a long time ago.    It came to mind. ... I make me happy.  No one else can.  
In this book everyone had a "word" .  I wondered. . What word would Houston have?   What is mine?  Hairdresser, momma ,friend, daughter, care taker?  I want a word.  I always saw it as passionate.   Now I'm not sure.
A person I greatly respected made me cry tonight,due to what I consider important. I allowed this. My fault.  His loss.

What is my word? What is Houston's?  Thoughts?

Apron strings and heartbeats

I do not use this blog much anymore, but i felt this fitting.

A few days ago i took one of my daughters to finish a physical she needed for athletics.  Never easy, we have some heart issue's in the family so after several visits to a cardiologist she passed with flying colors.   We had been so agitated i had not stopped to think; well of course this should be done.  I mean my kids have always been healthy.  zero broken bones, surgeries etc..  Very blessed in deed.  So as we drove our last time it hit me stop being silly and spend the money.  Better safe than sorry, this is my baby i am talking about.  The very one that drives me the most nuts of course.

Unless your a mother and or a father that was very involved in your child from conception, what you wait for first is the heart beat.  I was told children may not be possible.  Then with my first i was told not to tell anyone that i may very well lose it.  My second i actually did.  Prayerfully my third and fourth i did not.  With each i just waited to hear that jelly put on my tummy and see that little flitter on the screen and then BAM the sound.  The sound that makes everything perfect in your world.  The heartbeat.  Some mothers as i did with mine while in labor have a strap wrapped around the belly to monitor the baby and the heart beats.  Occasionally the nurse will let you hear that sound to ensure you either A.  dont kill someone due to pain or B. to calm the mom.    The heartbeat of our babies is what keeps us going.

So back on topic.  My daughter had a rigamaroll (is that how you spell that) of tests ending in an ultrasound.  I was in there (yes because i am controlling) and because she had to wear a smock and wanted me there.  Rare at this age so i jumped on it.  

Then it happened.  BAM........ i heard her heart beat again.  It hit me like a ton of bricks.  I didnt know whether to cry to call her brother who would of course want proof she has a heart.( though i suspect he thought so all along)  I watched the monitor and the tech was overly kind.  Rare these days if you ask me.  He explained what i was looking at.  What the colors were and how healthy my angel actually is.  I listened to him, but i have to be honest with you........all i kept listening to was her heart beat......over and over.  It reminded me yet again.......its what keeps me going.  Puts my feet on the floor, some days keeps me from eating my young but in the end.......that sound never fades.  

Today i dropped said child off after a round of lets play whos the boss and push our limits....i was brought back to that feeling on the way home.  That sound.  There is NOTHING like it.  They grow and push those limits and we just although we dont want to admit it; want just a few more moments.  We want to hold them, tell them one more thing, give them that one more gift of knowledge.

If you have seen the movie with Kevin Bacon, i thinks titled She's having a baby.... or the song Apron Strings it might help.  If not look it up.  Its amazing and has many meanings for me. (not just my babies, but someone elses) As much as my kids dad and i disagree i think of him when i see this seen.  He came very close to raising our son alone. That heartbeat....... Ill try and attach the song. 

http://youtu.be/TyeZy_UPYKM

To those that wonder... of course i cried.  I also have a heart and one feeling.  i only show it occasionally.  do not tell.

MUST watch for every woman!

and dont YOU forget it. When momma isnt here to remind you Faith, Emma and Tatum.  Watch again!  As i help my step mom struggle with serious change and fear with so much class  and as i watch my gram move on with dignity through the end of her life.  As all the changes are happening in my life, i keep watching and reminding myself no sir Devil!!!  I am a woman of God.  He enable me to be me.

Not Mean....misunderstood.

People always confuse Mean with misunderstood or honest.  (ok, sometimes twisted and complicated but thats just lil ole me)  Its called boundaries.  Respect them.....try and set some.    I like me......i do not need you to like me to be me.  Do you like you?  Self reflection is a difficult task it is so much easier to self project isn't it?